This is guest post by Darius Davies-Shojaee, who also writes The Daily Different on Becks.com.

10) Viggo Mortensen (not to be confused with Vigo the Carpathian from ‘Ghostbusters II’)

When sporting the homeless vagrant look of long, unwashed hair and scruffy beard (as he did in some weird movies about a magical ring), Viggo is almost irresistible to the human female. However, when he is clean-shaven with short back and sides, this guy has less prowess with women than I did at 15.

9) Daniel Craig

Oh, everyone loves him now he’s been to the gym and had his vitamin supplements (Randy Savage style). Plus, those tight-fitting swimming trunks from ‘Casino Royale’ probably increased his appeal to certain segments of the movie going public. But take all that away and what has he got? The face of a rugby player merged with that of Frank Bruno after 10 rounds with Mike Tyson.

Kate Blanchett

Famed for her portrayal of Elizabeth I in the films ‘Elizabeth’ and ‘Elizabeth: The Golden Age’. Elizabeth I herself was famed for being a monarch so wretchedly ugly that she could never find a husband. I rest my case.

7) Victoria Beckham

Somehow readers of lifestyle magazines around the world have been duped into thinking that not only is Mrs. David Beckham a fashion icon, but that she is also one of the most beautiful women in the world. There are many ways of refuting this, but I’ll stick with two:

1. Anyone can look amazing with an infinite budget, a team of stylists, and contractual stipulations that all official pictures be painstakingly Photoshoped;
2. The only reason why she was not referred to as the ugly one (or more accurately “the even uglier one”) from the Spice Girls was due to the existence of Mel C.

6) Cristiano Ronaldo

Me, jealous? How dare you think that? No honest person can deny that Ronaldo has the neck of a giraffe, looks like he’s been dipped in oil, and has bad skin. He also plays for a football team that every Arsenal fan (like me) views as evil. And he uses too much hair gel!

List sponsored by DanforthDiamond.com, experts in diamonds and diamond rings.

5) The “girls” of ‘Sex And The City’

Female fans of the show insist to men that Miranda, Sarah Jessica Parker, and the blonde filthy one are beautiful. Noooooo! We have eyes, we can see for ourselves. Dogly! Unrepentantly dogly! The brown-haired one’s OK though (ish).

4) Russell Crowe

Widely celebrated as beautiful despite having a face that looks like it’s made from play dough. Unlike Viggo, a beard/long hair combo makes no difference. The dirty big mole between his eyebrows doesn’t help either. A very differently beautiful man.

3) Paris Hilton

Fortunately for Miss Hilton, just as looking beautiful helps people to ignore stupidity, being insanely wealthy helps people to ignore ugliness. Also, she carries her dog around in her handbag, inadvertently allowing people to compare the dog’s face with her own.

2) Madonna

A friend told me that Madonna looks fit in her new video. And I always hear on TV that Madonna has re-invented herself and is more beautiful than ever. I totally agree. There’s nothing I value more in a woman’s physique than muscular arms which make her look like the offspring of the Ultimate Warrior and Tarzan.

1) Sarah Jessica Parker

An astounding double entry for SJP, who swoops onto our list as the Number 1 Differently Beautiful celebrity! Despite having arms modeled on Madonna, and a nose modeled on the Wicked Witch of the West, Parker has been the face of Gap, has her own fragrance, and is influential in the world of fashion. Just goes to show that looking like a dude is no barrier to the modern “independent woman”.

This list inspired by The Ultimate Top 10 Lists site, Toptenz.net

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